July 13, 2012
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zombie apocalypse
One thing I don't do well is what my mom and her family used to call "visit". I last about an hour on a good day, and then I need a 3-day break. This includes all kinds of interpersonal interactions, and especially the phone. If you're one of the rare few who have ever gotten me to chat with you on a phone, major kudos. I actually like being around people, but once the aspie overload hits, my brain melts and I slide right out of this dimension.The last couple of weeks have been a nightmare. By some twist of fate, and this iconic truth has only recently revealed its true horror, people feel compelled to talk to me because, of all things, I'm a good listener.Just writing that made me dizzy.
Scott's real dad from Florida showed up last week and spent four days at our house. His arrival was like a bomb going off. I had just sat through a "joint adventure" (knee replacement) class with Scott's mom, two long hours of graphic pictures and exercise demonstrations. We got out and phones started ringing. Boom, guess who's here, he's at her house with one of the sisters, omg his mom freaked out because that sister has MRSA, wtf, how long has this been going on, apparently at least a month of secrecy and extreme tension, now the whole family is freaking out.
Reality tv has nothing on my in-laws.And then the rest of the week was an 80 year old Jehovah Witness in my house shutting down the 4th of July and his ex-wife's 80th birthday party. That's right, no cake. When I turn 80, if some old zombie kills my joy over religious convictions, I'm gonna poke his eyes out. And I can say that because I grew up Mennonite.But the worst part was the compulsive talking. For 4 solid days. I'm serious. No, he wouldn't go watch tv or take a nap. When Scott got home from work the first day, I said "your turn", and I had to explain to his dad that now I'm on lazy face time. I spent eight polite hours nodding and looking interested, I'm off the clock. My own dad doesn't get that.And that was just one day. *dayam*This last Tuesday I got a phone call. Scott's mom was in a wreck only two miles from my house.
She's ok, thank goodness, but bruised up from the seatbelt and airbag, and amazingly was the worst one with injuries. I came back and got Scott's step dad and drove up to the hospital. He's a talker, too. Over 80. For five hours.... -omg-And then I sat at the hospital with Scott's mom for two days. She's not a quiet person.Before I sound just terrible, ok it's already too late, I have to beg off with a lot of hospital time I've put in already over the last seven months with other people, which cancels that out. But I worked out the math. In ten days' time, which is 240 hours, I spent 121 solid hours listening to three people over 80 talk. And that's not including a couple of phone calls from my dad over that weekend. This went way beyond my brain melting. I'm still picking sticky pieces off the walls and trying to cram them back into my cranium. The only way I could keep the days right in my mind (I'm notorious for showing up to appointments on the wrong day) was by counting down to ComicCon live on Spike. Which I missed because I was at the doctor making sure a little sore on my lip wasn't MRSA. Just the idea is finally going to cure my lip picking, I think.
hashtag asperger
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My first tracker was installed in 2004 and broke several times before moving to a new server, which lost a few months of stats, and then Xanga moved to new servers and I lost more stats for more months before the page came back up, so I've lost a total of about two years' worth of stats. The second was installed 2-22-14 and is considered very conservative by business owners who use analytics, which itself is very conservative, estimates being that roughly one third to one half of hits by real live people aren't even counted, most likely due to javascript discrepancies. Actual hits on several posts here are in the thousands now, and the Lexx Index in the ten thousands. I've got pingbacks turned off, so spam isn't counted at all within the Xanga internal tracker, and most direct post hits can be correlated to my real time linking activity on twitter and other social media. When I did Google Analytics beta testing I got to see how search engine performance compares to tracking. I believe live feed linking sources to various social medias are key to a future where search engines are more about performance than cataloging, which has been confirmed to me by coders who create bot algorithms as I was beta testing paper.li. I've fought hard through redundant age-old stacks to make my way to the google front lines again, so my Lexx work shows up faster on Chrome searches now. This has been a really interesting ride. At any rate, my point is, I can still go back 6 years on my original tracker and I can still see that in 2013 just before the last big blog server move, I was getting traffic like this (and since then, the tracker may have been abandoned, we can't tell). Click the thumbnail to see full size.
My original tracker also still lets me see the latest 500 visitors on a map. I once counted over 80 countries among the total visits. You guys are not alone. Click the map to see it better.
Besides Lexx, the most common search phrases that bring new visitors here are variations on 'huge spaceship'. The most seen post from a phrase search is How Big is the Lexx? My biggest Lexx referrer is Lexx Domain. Most of page views per person count comes from the Lexx tag on Tumblr. Visitors who stay the longest come through URLOpener and are pinged through the Google translator server in Mountain View, CA.
